Screw You, DHL!

If you ever need to ship a package don't use DHL. They suck. Seriously. Even if you have to buy it someplace else and pay more, it's worth it.

We ordered my new laptop and the only shipping option was through DHL. We paid for the 2 Business Day shipping that is "guaranteed" to be delivered by 5PM on the 2nd business day.

Yesterday was the 2nd business day. I waited around all day for my new pretty pink laptop. I couldn't really go anywhere because I didn't want to miss the delivery man. I couldn't even shower, because in my experience delivery companies tend to suck. And just because they say they'll leave something at the front desk doesn't mean they will. And darn it, I wanted my new lappy top!

At 5PM last night, it wasn't here. So Jeff called DHL to figure out where it was at. He was told that the driver was still out and it should be delivered soon. At 6 there was still no sign of the DHL man (though FedEx and UPS were kind enough to drive by and taunt me). So Jeff called at 6 to find out where it was at. He was told that they'd been very backed up and that drivers were doing deliveries until 8 or 9 pm, but assured him it would be delivered. At 8:30 or so, he called again. And was informed that the truck hadn't made all of it's deliveries for the day and had returned at 6:30 PM.

I was furious.

Jeff called this morning to make sure it was going to be delivered today. They couldn't find my laptop! They didn't scan it in last night when the driver brought it back. And they didn't have any record of it going out. So over an hour later, they're looking for the package. They find it, and they didn't even bother to send the laptop out with today's deliveries. Apparently they didn't have enough trucks. And the trucks they had? They didn't have room for a 12x16x8 inch box. Nope, not their trucks. They're packed full!

They told Jeff that if I wanted, I could go pick it up. So after guaranteeing that there would be zero issues with me going to pick it up (meaning there wouldn't be an issue with me picking it up when it's addressed to Jeff or that they wouldn't have any issues finding it) I headed over to DHL. It's a 30 minute drive.

When I got there, there was a man in front of me who was pretty angry who appeared to be picking up a package. While he was talking to someone on the phone, a cranky woman who looked to be pregnant but was possibly just tubby offered to help me. She spent about 15 minutes looking for my laptop. You know how you're never supposed to ask if a woman is pregnant until she's popped the kid out so you don't offend someone? Yeah, I wanted to break that rule today. I told you, I was mad. And I'm mean when I'm mad. I didn't, though. I should get a cookie. But I'll take my laptop instead, thankyouverymuch!

I gave her my ID and she started to get all pissy and was like "Well don't you have anything that has this name on it?" Because it was addressed to Jeff.

I was like "Nope! That's my husband. I don't carry his ID around because he generally needs it."

"Well do you have anything with this address on it?"

"If I did, I probably would have given it to you. As the case may be, I just moved here. If you'd like my library card you can have that but that's as good as you're going to get."

So she starts getting all bitchy at me and I ignored everything she said and just stared at her. The evil stare. The stare I give Summit when she's being obnoxious. The stare that stops Mitzie in her tracks when she's pulling up carpet or something stupid. The mom stare. The hairy eyeball. The look of death. Whatever you want to call it, that's what she got.

Finally, she gave me my laptop. As I was leaving, the guy who was there first was like "So how come yesterday and today the tracking number online shows that this package was out "with courier for delivery"?"

"Oh," she said. "Because they meant to take it."

As I walked out, he started to yell. And he can yell much louder than me. It made me happy.

So, now we get to file a complaint with Dell to have them refund the shipping and handling. Because you know, I'm not paying someone else to do their job. I'll pay myself to do their job. Heck, it was probably more environmentally friendly for me to drive the car over there than for them to bring their big stupid ugly yellow truck to my place. And then I'm filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau and DHL about their crappy service.

There are some things you just don't do. And messing with a girl and her new pretty pink laptop? That's pretty high up on the don't do it list.